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Writer's pictureKristen Podulka

Embracing the Journey to Self-Love: Transformative Steps to Discovering Your True Self

Updated: Apr 12

If I could highlight the most crucial piece of advice I give, it would undoubtedly be the importance of self-love. Learning to truly appreciate and accept oneself is transformative, yet understanding the concept and implementing it are two very different endeavors. But how do we embark on this journey? Whether in personal consultations or through universal guidance, I explore pivotal questions about self-love. Are you ready to redefine your self-image, break free from negative patterns, and embrace a life-changing path? Here’s my heartfelt guidance for you.


1. Get to Know Yourself

Often, we lose touch with who we truly are, overshadowed by the demands and expectations of others. Our own desires become secondary to those around us. To start reconnecting with yourself, engage in self-discovery as you would when getting to know a new friend. Explore introspective questions: What activities bring me joy? What are my deepest passions and dreams? Reconnect with your essence through journaling, meditation, or simple daydreaming. Discovering your true self is the foundational step toward loving that person.

2. Prioritize Your Needs

Once you reconnect with your true self, it’s crucial to put your needs first. This might feel selfish at first, but it’s essential. I’ll share a personal anecdote to illustrate this: For years, I modified my cooking to suit my husband’s preference for smooth spaghetti sauce, ignoring my own love for chunky textures. One evening, I chose to honor my preference, a small act that symbolized a broader commitment to respecting my own needs. This shift towards self-advocacy is fundamental in your journey of self-love.

3. Speak Kindly to Yourself

The dialogue you have with yourself significantly influences your self-perception. It’s crucial to replace critical or negative self-talk with affirmations of kindness and support. A simple yet powerful technique is Mirror Work, where you practice saying "I love you" to your reflection. Though it might feel awkward at first, it's incredibly effective at breaking down walls of self-criticism and fostering self-compassion.

4. Forgive Yourself

Holding onto past mistakes can hinder your ability to love yourself. Forgiveness is not just about others; it’s also about clearing away your own guilt and resentment. Reflect on your past errors with compassion and understanding. Journal about your feelings, meditate on them, or seek spiritual guidance. Learning to forgive yourself is a liberating step that paves the way for genuine self-acceptance.

5. Seek Support

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Assistance is available in various forms, from therapy and spiritual counseling to self-help books and podcasts. Listen to your intuition and choose the support that feels right for you. Taking the first step towards seeking help can be the most crucial part of your path.


Engaging in self-love is a dynamic and ongoing process. Each step you take not only enhances your relationship with yourself but also changes how you interact with the world. Start this journey with an open heart, and prepare to meet the most incredible person you’ll ever know—you.

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